Tag: Humour
The Big Riot (a political satire)
At the Met headquarters
There’s another call out,
To gather all available officers
To attend another London riot,
When they muster at the order
The streets are uncannily quiet,
Far too silent to signal peace,
The van drivers see the flickering TVs
As the vanguards of PSUs cruise,
They tell their colleagues in the carriers
“Every household is watching the news”
Then, they get closer to Westminster
Where they each get a first-hand view,
Of the riot’s epicentre,
Met commanders aren’t sure what to do,
It started in the Common’s Chamber
And it shows no sign at all of ending,
Ministers displaying criminal behaviour,
They’d have to send the forces in,
Some Brexiteers were running with cleavers
And Boris Johnson was singing
As law-enforcers arrest law-makers
To the sound of ancient plaster cracking
And answering war cries from Remainers,
The police chief rethinks the cons of fast-tracking
While arresting MPs from Tories and Labour,
Extracting an uninterested Corbyn,
If he’d not been killed by Mogg’s sabre
It looks like he’d soon have died of boredom,
The Speaker is still trying hard to call order
As someone nearby asks the chief
“Sir, where do we put the cordon?”
Antonia Sara Zenkevitch
My Least Favourite Things
(Here’s one I wrote a few years ago, to the tune of The Sound of Music – My Favourite Things)
Homelessness rising and people frost-bitten,
Unnourished bellies, cold hands without mittens
Transnational big businesses pulling our strings,
These are a few of my least favourite things,
Terrorists funded by Oil and Arms Dealers,
Refugees blamed by Daesh and all our leaders,
Bombers that fly with mass death on their wings
These are a few of my least favourite things,
Violence increasing as prejudice slashes,
Divide to rule rhetoric gluing eyelashes
Icy white winters mixed up with our springs
These are a few of my least favourite things,
Chorus:
When the cuts bite, when the lies sting,
When we’re feeling sad
We unite against our least favourite things
And then we won’t feel so bad,
Misinformation as our climate is cracking,
Secretive deals to enforce lethal fracking,
Opportunities passing as poverty clings,
These are a few of my least favourite things,
Racism, ableism, gender exclusion,
Media Moguls spreading confusion,
Insipid homogeny dominating
These are a few of my least favourite things,
Public services given to corporatisation
Making us wonder who governs our nations,
Vulnerable patients charged for their slings
These are a few of my least favourite things,
Chorus:
When the cuts bite, when the lies sting,
When we’re feeling sad
We unite against our least favourite things
And then we won’t feel so bad.
Antonia Sara Zenkevitch
Brexit Playlist
This is my playlist
For the farce of Brexit;
Illusion, by VNV nation
From the album ‘Judgement’,
Momentum, Song of Return,
From the Trajectory EP
The Writing’s on the Wall
By Sam Smith,
Under Pressure by Queen & Bowie,
Then Thunder by The Prodigy
From the album ‘Invaders Must Die,’
Mixed with a little Prey
From The Neighbourhood,
Both of which seem now to be policy,
So I play Some Kind of Joke
Courtesy of AWOLNATION,
Destroy Everything You Touch
By Ladytron – the end –
Of Disk One,
My playlist for Brexit continues
With AfroCelt Sound System’s
‘Dark Moon, High Tide,’
Imagine Dragon’s Battle Cry,
Renegades by X-Ambassadors
And Time is Running Out by Muse,
Their Supermassive Black Hole,
And a little I Feel it All by Fiest,
Sleep to Dream by Fiona Apple,
Pompei, and Blame by Bastille’s
Album, Wild World,
Invisible Empire, KT Turnstall,
Grey Days by Chelsea Wolfe,
From her Abyss Collection,
And The Wrong Direction
By Passenger,
(By this point, I’ve cranked the volume
Up much louder, )
Then Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds
We No Who U Are,
And Lauren Aquilina’s Wild Fire
From the album Liars.
Antonia Sara Zenkevitch
Johnson & Drones
Johnson and drones,
Johnson and drones,
Is the UK overcome
By Johnson and drones?
Is political opportunism
To him more important
As he plays the heir apparent?
Is our economy a tributary
To his own ambition
Does he stand by his decision
As more than a play for popularity?
He treats our neighbours with derision
Blaming them for gross disparity
Whilst widening cracks of division,
Truth, it seems, is used with frugality,
Employed only under certain conditions;
Seen as secondary to telling a story,
Johnson and drones, Johnson and drones,
When others regard this century,
Evaluating what we’ve become,
Your name may be unknown
But these actions ripple eternally
As descendants ask what we have done.
Antonia Sara Zenkevitch
Fa La La; a protest to ‘Deck the Halls’
PM singing Yuletide carols, Fa la la, la la la, la la la, While the UK is in peril, Fa la la, la la la, la la la, MPs don their best apparel Fa la la, la la la, la la la, Postponing this vote is immoral, Fa la la la la, la la la la, See the blazing deal before us, Fa la la, la la la, la la la, Nothing in it will assure us, Fa la la, la la la, la la la, Not much time now, can you measure Fa la la, la la la, la la la, How all this stalling cranks up pressure? Fa la la la la, la la la la, Fast away now, each chance passes Fa la la, la la la, la la la, Hail Brexiteers that act like asses, Fa la la, la la la, la la la, Hear the far-right loonies gather, Fa la la, la la la, la la la, Xenophobic, racist chatter, Fa la la la la, la la la la Yet, gather now all ye Remainers, Fa la la, la la la, la la la, Our sense of union may sustain us, Fa la la, la la la, la la la, Stand for your values, stand by neighbours, Fa la la, la la la, la la la, Don’t let the lies and hatred blind us, Fa la la la la, la la la la, A people’s vote would re-engage us, Fa la la, la la la, la la la, Or vote the deal down, burn the pages, Fa la la, la la la, la la la, If it’s the best deal, Brexit’s failed us, Fa la la, la la la, la la la, There is too much that it endangers, Fa la la la la, la la la la, We will protect what we most treasure, Fa la la, la la la, la la la, Whatever happens stick together, Fa la la, la la la, la la la, And keep warm in the frosty weather, Fa la la, la la la, la la la, Yes, keep warm in the frosty weather, Fa la la la la, la la la la, Fa la la la la, la la la la! by Antonia Sara Zenkevitch (Song to the tune of ‘Deck the Halls’)
The 48% 